If you didn't read the first part of my pet loss journey, you can find it here.
Once Dr. Gonzalez left, the reality sank in that after 17.5 years, my fur baby was gone. I recall crying, and if I could describe what I felt like, I would say my heart truly hurt. The next few days were filled with a lot more crying. One of the hardest parts of losing someone, a person or a pet, is the adjustments you go through.
I remember coming home for the first time after work, and she wasn't there. For the last 4 years, I have driven home, excited, knowing that I would be greeted by her. But now, my apartment was empty. There were so many "firsts" without her. When you spend a significant amount of time with any companion once they are gone, anything that used to be a normal routine somehow becomes the dreaded "first time without them".
In my previous blog, I mentioned how I would wake up in the middle of the night or early morning to take her out for potty breaks. Well, even after she passed, my mind and body still woke up. I remember hitting the 2 month mark and I told my mom how frustrated I was, because no matter how late I went to bed, I always seemed to get up at 6 am and couldn't seem to fall back asleep. I missed her so much.
(Moxey, the little tan chihuahua, never met Finn. But I was able to create my favorite piece of artwork and combine them together)
As the 3rd month approached, I started to feel more comfortable with the idea of rescuing a new dog. I desperately longed for the routine that a dog brings. I missed the structured meal times, potty breaks, and just having the presence of a companion by my side. So, I decided to just go "look" at some dogs that were available for adoption. If you haven't already guessed, my "browsing" quickly turned into, I am going to take this dog (Finn) home with me. Finn was found on the streets. He was 1-2 years old, which was perfect. I didn't want to go through the puppy phase with my next dog.
I will be honest, it took a while for him to grow on me. I wasn't sure if I would be able to love another dog. But within the first week of having Finn, I no longer woke up at 6 am. My mind was finally at peace and the grieving process really started the moment I got him.
If we have met, or if you keep up with me on Instagram, you have most likely heard me say, "I started my business around pet loss." Grief is unfortunately a part of life. The sadness that we are left with is a staple to show how much love and joy our beloved ones brought to our lives. I know one day I will be at this crossroads again with Finn, but until then, I love him every day, each day more than the last.
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